a choice.

I am on a plane.
I am leaving.
I am departing.
I am exiting.

-Three days in Denver Colorado, three months of confusion and hurt and wanting something I've felt was no longer attainable.

As I turn my head away from the beat up champagne colored sedan, as I walk through the sliding glass doors of the Denver international airport, as I print my boarding pass, maneuver through a surprisingly short security line, as I sit at my gate, as I board the plane, as i find my seat and stow my bag, as i fly away.. I leave behind a city I hardly know, I leave behind someone I care so much about, I leave behind expectations that have kept me hostage (a welcome captive)...

I let go... As I fly away, I let go.

It hurts. It takes my breath away. It makes me want to panic and scratch and claw and fight for what i want. What i cant have. what cannot be. It sucks.

It is so beautiful!!

I am on a plane.
I am moving forward.
I am arriving.
I am embarking.

Three days in Denver Colorado. One, happier than any day I've experienced in the last few months. As I turn my head away from the beat up champagne colored sedan, as i walk through the doors of the airport, as I print my boarding pass, maneuver through security, sit at the gate, board the plane, find my seat, stow my bag... as I fly away... I fly home. I fly toward my friends, my family, the people I fill my life with, the people who invest in the life I've created. Who care so much for me and want to see me happy- fulfilled.

I say a temporary goodbye to a very good friend, I know our connection is strong and can withstand time and space. I know that our roll in each others lives is authentic and real. Somehow... Concrete.

Though bittersweet, I move toward a new hope that is freeing me from my own perception. My own emotions that till now I've enabled to trap me.

I move forward... As I fly home, I choose to move forward.

Its a choice to change and it is exciting and it takes my breath away. The clarity refreshes me and gives me the courage to plan my own journey. My own adventure. My role in this world. It inspires me to let go of something that was never mine to try to possess. Something that cannot be owned or controlled or forced. Something that I can only hold my memories of.

IT IS BEAUTIFUL.

I am on a plane..
I am on my way...
I am not sure whats next...

I am GREAT!